At the beginning of 1637 Dutch investors were paying many
times a typical annual salary for a single tulip bulb. In February of that year,
the boom came to a sudden spectacular crash and tulip-mania became a famous cautionary
tale about the perils of paying stupid amounts for things.
It’s now 2015 and someone who clearly never learnt about tulip-mania
has just paid more than six million dollars for an ugly house in Chatswood. This
big brick box of a house was built at the very dullest point of the 90’s and stands
in a bog standard suburban street. The backyard has a large lawn and a Hills
Hoist but appears not to include a pool, a tennis court or a magic tree which
money grows on.
Clearly this price makes no sense and when prices start
making no sense it is time to worry.
I have spent many years living in Chatswood and it never
struck me as the kind of super special suburb where six million dollar homes
would ever exist. Chatswood has gargantuan shopping malls, great yum cha and a Korean
hairdresser who will give you a decent hairdo for just eighteen bucks. You will
however struggle to get harbour views or a deep water frontage, which are
usually part of the package for a six million dollar joint.
Logically this buyer would have been far better off purchasing
their own tropical island. This secluded piece of paradise would not be as close
to all the fancy clothes shops, but when you own your own tropical it’s fairly simple
to adopt a nudist lifestyle. With the money left over it would also be easy to
employ a Korean hairdresser, a personal chef and some surly Shirley to wheel
trays of chicken feet and steamed buns around on a Sunday morning.
While I can’t fathom the buyer’s reasoning for spending such
a stupendous amount of money for a big box in Chatswood I do hope they enjoy
it. Perhaps they will decide to pretty up the garden by planting a few tulips.
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