RUN

Yesterday I saw a young man running down King Street in a manner that suggested fairly strongly that he had stolen something. You see, the style of his run wasn’t that of a typical jogger - it was more like Ussain Bolt had suffered a bout of diarrhoea and was frantically looking for a toilet. The other giveaway was that he was holding something rather large under his shirt as he pissbolted past the other pedestrians.

Sadly I was driving at the time and could do little more than cast disapproving glances at him as we travelled down the street in the same direction. I really think it would have been fun to tackle the bastard and leave him lying flat on the footpath. After all, it’s been ages since I played my last game of rugby and I’m sure I’ve got a lot of bottled up aggression I could take out on someone like that. The fairly narrow footpaths would mean it would be hard for him to get in a sidestep and because he was holding something under his shirt he couldn’t fend on his left side. I’ve also bulked up a bit since the playing days so I reckon I could put a pretty good hit on.

I quite like the idea of vigilante justice. If more people were prepared to smash the crap out of thieves perhaps there would be less thieving. The general public would also feel happier because they have had the chance to take their anger out on some low down druggo thief. Our society has just become far too soft when no one on a 300 metre stretch of King Street is prepared to do as much as stick out a foot to trip up a fast moving thief. Where are the heroes?