Tuesday, October 25, 2011

It's not an investment bank

It was 34 degrees the other day and driving past the Crystal car wash I spotted the most ridiculous thing I'd ever seen. All the dudes scrubbing the cars were wearing long sleeve shirts and ties. I don't know what genius decided business attire was required for sudsing up a car but to me that just seems cruel. It makes me not want to go there for a number of reasons.
1. I try not to support businesses where the bosses are cruel arseholes.
2. If they have no idea about dressing appropriately do they have any idea about how to wash a car?
3. If you have a tie on it is going to flop down and get all wet when you wash the top of the car. I doubt whether they will clean my roof thoroughly.
4. They probably don't want to get dirt on their long sleeve shirts. They are not going to attack the really filthy awkward bits.
5. It sends a pretty scary price signal. They are probably way more expensive than the t-shirt place.
6. It makes it really awkward when the cleaner is better dressed than I am.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Throw away society

I just bought an all-in-one scanner/copier/printer. I already had one but it was out of ink. The weird thing was that it was actually cheaper to buy a new printer than to buy new ink - so now I have an awesome new $49.99 wireless printer on my desk and a perfectly functioning old printer sitting on the footpath waiting for someone to pick it up. It's stupid. I had to save forever to buy a walkman and it was with me until music didn't come on tapes anymore. There was love. Now technology is so cheap you just use it and throw it away. It makes feel dirty.

Thursday, October 6, 2011


Despite our reputation as being laid back, Australian workers slave away for some of the longest hours in the world. Most of these hours don't go adequately rewarded.

I believe that as well as paying their employees overtime, employers should also be made to pay the partners of their employees who are being robbed of quality time. Even if the person is single their tennis partner, drinking buddy or scrabble opponent should be compensated.

Understandably, doing overtime can also lead to a shitty mood. As such an additional shitty mood loading should be paid to the partner. I don't know what the price of happiness is but I'd like to be part of the committee who work it out.

Of course after doing so much overtime the employee will feel less inclined to do housework once they arrive home. It would seem sensible that the employer hire a cleaner to make sure the home is spotless on their return.

The stress of overtime also effects the health of the employee. As such the employer should pay for a gym membership, fruit baskets and a foot massage or something.