Tuesday, November 30, 2010

That's not coleslaw

Does carrot and cabbage really qualify as coleslaw? Woolworths thinks it does but I think that's bullshit. I was going to buy a bag of the pre-made coleslaw but it was missing most of the ingredients. Everyone has their own way of making coleslaw but at least they will put a bit of celery in there. Personally I also like some shallots, campsicum and apple. I've seen people put weird crap like pineapple, sultanas and walnuts in their coleslaw - it's wrong but at least they are trying harder than Woolies.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I'm a lumberjack and that's okay

Yesterday I finally cracked the shits at the palm tree that was rubbing against the gutter and making horrible squeaky noises. I decided to cut it down. This was hard because (a) trees are fucking heavy (b) there's potential for significant property damage (c)there's a good chance I'd have to call an ambulance but wouldn't be able to do so because I'd have a tree lying on top of me.

Despite these factors I powered on. Katy was of the opinion that we should probably get a professional to do it. She was probably right but that would cost money, be a pain organising and not be any fun at all. So with a rusty hacksaw, a couple of ropes and a bit of Aussie ingenuity we went for it.

Cutting down a tree is a testing time for any relationship. Not only do you have to try not to kill your partner, you also have to try to keep calm while debating different lumberjacking theories, trying to hold up a ridiculously heavy tree and keep the roof in tact. I think we did okay. Not only did we conquer nature but we also managed not to yell at each other that much or require any medical attention.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

When advertising is too effective

Normally when I ride my bike I have a little sound track going in my head. Typically it is something like INXS's Falling Down a Mountain or Blur's Song No. 2 (the woohoo one). Riding along the other day I had the So Good jingle in my head. Let me tell you it is friggin annoying to be riding along singing "So Good in your cereal, So Good as a drink, So Good is the reason why So Good is so good".

It's not just annoying because it's a jingle but it's annoying because it makes no sense. Saying "So Good is the reason why So Good is so good" is like saying chicken is the reason why chicken is so good.

So Good is a product I would never purchase. I like cows and I don't like Delta Goodrem. Why the fuck is she scrawling her signature over fake milk? Unless it's derived from her own lactation what right does she have to sign it?

Why do people care that a washed up soap star is associated with weird milk substitute? Does she even sing anymore or does she just do endorsements and appear in women's magazines. I want to slap her and the dude who wrote the jingle and anyone who ever bought any Delta endorsed product.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Plusses & minuses of being a princess

If Prince William were to ask for your hand in marriage there would be a bit to weigh up.

Plus - awesome seats at all the major sporting events.
Minus - no more getting pissed and screaming obscenities at the referee.

Plus - getting to live in a palace
Minus - it's in England

Plus - getting to ride in swanky cars
Minus - tunnels

Monday, November 15, 2010

the internet ruined tv

It used to be that when you watched something on tv you just sat there and watched it. Now however I have a laptop permanently in front of me and I spend hours half watching and half searching for the cheapest deal on some bike tyres, reading the news or writing crap in this blog. If I do try and pay full attention to the tv Katy grabs the laptop and continually shows me pictures of people I don't know or care about on Facebook. I think the people who make tv have twigged to this and have just started making shit shows that don't really force you to pay much attention. After all who's going to bother keeping up with a plot line when you could just watch something quality like Dating in the Dark or Ladette to Lady?

Fuck multi-tasking. I want to go back to the 80's.