Wednesday, January 20, 2016

World Championships of Farting

Men are generally fascinated by farting and anything which is competitive. It’s almost incomprehensible that no one has put the two together and created a large-scale event.

I envisage the World Championships of Farting would be held in the elevator of the Empire State building. (qualifying events could be held in other tall towers around the world). The competitor would enter the elevator along with three judges. The doors would close and the competitor would have the entire journey up to unleash their worst.

50 per cent of the score would be awarded for the volume and duration of the farts. The other 50 per cent would be awarded for aroma.

I imagine the TV coverage would be packed full of special segments covering each of the competitors and what they ate and drank in the lead up. I'd go German with a lot of beer and sauerkraut. 

I was thinking of competing under the name Gaseous Clay before converting to Islam and becoming Muhammad Arseleak. Being white I then decided it may be more appropriate if I compete as Rocky Bowelblower.
  Image result for rocky fartingImage result for rocky farting