Monday, November 23, 2009

Treason Charges for Mitch's Mum?

Mitchell Johnson's bitch of a mum cost us the Ashes. She came out on the eve of the first test and instead of saying "I hope you do well son - knock over a few poms for me," she had a go at her son for never calling her and then had a huge swipe at his girlfriend on national TV.

You know why he never calls Vikki? It's because you're an evil cow.

Mitch is a sensitive young man who needs to be nurtured and loved but Vinegar Tits Vikki is clearly incapable of providing such support. No wonder he'd prefer to spend his time with his hot swimsuit model girlfriend.

The choice to inflict a huge emotional blow on the eve of the Ashes was just like a terrorist who sets off a bomb when the market is most crowded. Vikki's bomb didn't just hurt Mitch, it hurt the whole of Australia.

Mitch isn't a smart man. When he goes to bowl he should have only two things in his head - line and length. When he was also thinking "why is my mum being such a bitch?" it became too much. He forgot about line an length and he bowled like shit. Vikki's mum clearly cost us the series. We'll never know if she was paid off by the poms but I wouldn't put it past them after the whole mint scandal of the previous series. Dirty cheats.

If I were the Prime Minister I'd deport Vikki to Serbia so she could get together with Damir Dokic and spend the rest of their days being stupid fuckwits together.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Bullshit Bumper Stickers

I saw a car today with a sticker on the back saying "vegetarians save lives". Beneath this slogan it had pictures of a cow, a sheep, a pig and a chicken.

Clearly these people are deluded. If it were not for us meat eaters how many sheep do you think would be around? Sheep are stupid animals that would not survive for ten minutes without the protection of good meat eating humans. We let them roam around in the sunshine and eat all day, all the time making sure they don't have a grizzly death at the hands of a fox. I really don't think it is the vegetarians who are saving the lives of sheep.

I probably eat one cow, one lamb, one pig and about 50 chickens a year. Vegetarians would say I'm responsible for their deaths but surely I'm also responsible for their lives. Without the market for meat we wouldn't have cattle farms - we'd have massive soy bean plantations so all the self-righteous wankers could throw sad tofu sausages on the barbie.

If vegetarians had their way there would clealry be less animals. You're not saving anyone vegos - get a better sticker!