Mitchell Johnson's bitch of a mum cost us the Ashes. She came out on the eve of the first test and instead of saying "I hope you do well son - knock over a few poms for me," she had a go at her son for never calling her and then had a huge swipe at his girlfriend on national TV.
You know why he never calls Vikki? It's because you're an evil cow.
Mitch is a sensitive young man who needs to be nurtured and loved but Vinegar Tits Vikki is clearly incapable of providing such support. No wonder he'd prefer to spend his time with his hot swimsuit model girlfriend.
The choice to inflict a huge emotional blow on the eve of the Ashes was just like a terrorist who sets off a bomb when the market is most crowded. Vikki's bomb didn't just hurt Mitch, it hurt the whole of Australia.
Mitch isn't a smart man. When he goes to bowl he should have only two things in his head - line and length. When he was also thinking "why is my mum being such a bitch?" it became too much. He forgot about line an length and he bowled like shit. Vikki's mum clearly cost us the series. We'll never know if she was paid off by the poms but I wouldn't put it past them after the whole mint scandal of the previous series. Dirty cheats.
If I were the Prime Minister I'd deport Vikki to Serbia so she could get together with Damir Dokic and spend the rest of their days being stupid fuckwits together.