Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Dear Oral B

I recently purchased some replacement brush heads, but I had a bit of a problem. It's the same problem I imagine millions of your customers have. I had no idea which brush head would fit my electric toothbrush. This was not helped by the fact that nowhere on my toothbrush is there anything which says what the model is. It put me in a rather impossible position where all I could do was fork over $13.60 and cross my fingers. It turned out I lost this ridiculous game of roulette and my brand new brush heads were about as useless as flyscreens on a submarine. Perhaps you could come up with a better system than this. Why not make one type white and one type silver, or stick a star on one or really do anything which doesn't rely on me remembering the details of a 30 second purchase I made 10 years ago? While I think of it, here are a few other suggestions. Why not design the brush heads without the holes in them? These only serve to flick bits of frothing toothpaste all over my clothes and bathroom mirror. I'm really tired of cleaning up after your stupid design flaws. Your packaging is also far from environmentally friendly - it includes about enough plastic to build a Barbie Dream Home. Is there really a need to make the brush heads harder to get to than a Pharaoh? I will be a tad less disappointed if you send me some replacement brush heads. This time you get to guess what model of toothbrush I have.

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Virgin Mary Sex Doll

When Charlie Hebdo published a cartoon mocking Mohammed, there were all sorts of possible responses. Ignoring it could have been one. A strongly worded letter may have been another. Unfortunately, someone decided to go with the option of loading up some machine guns and shooting the shit out of a whole bunch of people.

It seemed a tad disproportionate and any sympathy I had for those who were offended by the cartoon quickly dried up. I think if Islamic fundamentalists want to win people over they really need to be a bit more creative and thoughtful in their responses.  

I believe in this instance they should have made Virgin Mary sex dolls. Just imagine it. All the Christians would have been horribly offended and then everyone could have agreed that mocking others' beliefs is not very nice.

Then everyone would live happily ever after... or am I being too optimistic?