Am I sleep-eating cork?

Even though this blog is called alphabet soup vomit, I'm not one to normally write about bodily functions. Today however I'm talking about poo.

I did a poo the other day that just wouldn't flush. It was incredible. It was like I had been sleepwalking, eaten a whole bunch of corks and had them pass through my digestive system, forming the shape of a poo but retaining all of their original buoyancy.

After the third full flush I was getting resigned to the fact that this poo might never leave. I thought about naming it. Initially I decided on Bob, due to the fact that it just kept bobbing up.

I then decided on a different, more poignant name. I called my poo John Howard. After all, he was an annoying little shit that wouldn't go away no matter how much I wanted him to.

Eventually, on the fifth flush he did go down. I celebrated like it was the 2007 election.