I'm pissed off about the grand final. Not just because Randwick got their arses kicked or that the referee was an idiot. I'm pissed off because the event had lost all sense of occasion.
The grand final used to be grand. Before it started there would be a marching band, some sky divers and then a shitload of balloons released in team colours. The players would even sometimes run through those big crepe banners and get little bits of paper all twisted around their boots.
People came because it was an event. This time it had nothing. No one cared and I was able to park 100 metres away.
My plan for making the grand final grand again involves the following.
1. Hire a marching band.
2. Hire a stuntman.
3. Make one of those big crepe banners.
4. Line up the buses that the marching band came in down the middle of the field. Put the crepe banner at the end.
5. make the fat guy in the marching band do a drum roll
6. Get the stuntman to ride his motorbike up the ramp, through the crepe banner and over the buses.
7. If funds stretch that far hire Paris Hilton and strap her to the last bus. I think the possibility of her being crushed by a motorbike would draw international interest and a huge crowd.
If I saw that I'd feel excited.
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