Last night a mosquito bit me on the dick. It's never happened to me before. I always assumed there was some unwritten agreement that they just didn't do that. I felt outraged, violated and quite itchy.
Today I researched ways of preventing being bitten by slutty vampire mosquitoes and they also seemed a bit crap. I think the best solution would be to inject feral animals with something that made them irresistible to mosquitoes. A feral cat/dog/pig/goat/camel would taste so super-duper amazing that mosquitoes would never ever want to go near a human again. We would taste like carob to their chocolate. Then I could sleep soundly again.
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