Thursday, June 25, 2009

23 years too late?

If you are going to be a musician 27 is the time to go out. Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Brian Jones, Janis Joplin and Kurt Cobain all made their exit at 27 for they knew that going on any longer would have just seen them become pathetic, washed up and weird.

Michael Jackson really should have stuck with the plan. In 1986 he was on top of the world. He was still black, had a normal looking face and so far as I know he hadn't molested any children. He had also not yet released Bad (despite not being a patch on Thriller I believe this album could have achieved greater success if released pothumously). Had he gone out in that pyrotechnics accident when filming the Pepsi ad that probably would have been the ultimate.

I believe Michael Hutchence left it a few years too late as well. At 27 he was packing out Wembley Stadium but after that INXS albums were kind of shit and he was just famous for fighting Bob Geldof in custody battles over kids with stupid names.

If all musicians died at 27 we also wouldn't be subjected to shitty reunion tours from geriatrics like Simon and Garfunkyl; we wouldn't have to hear about Madonna stealing children and we wouldn't have to listen Bono crap on about Africa either.

The moral of the story is if you are a true fan of any musician you should murder them at 27 and protect them from themselves.

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