Yesterday I had this weird buzzing in my head that made me think that I was actually a robot and some electrical component next to my left ear was continuously tripping. I was like a pissed off version of Dexter.
The more likely possibility was that my eardrum was finally rebelling against me probing cotton buds in there every day - I know it says you are not supposed to do it but how can anyone resist that lovely feeling of wiggling a short pole around inside a precious cavity? Anyway, it was really frickin annoying.
I considered getting some eardrops to fix the problem but no one likes the feeling of having liquid in their ear hole. Instead I thought I’d give an ear candle a try. Being a closet pyro the thought of having something burning stick in my head seemed like an awesome idea so I drove up to Bob’s Late Night Chemist and bought the most expensive set of ear candles ever (I haven’t bought ear candles before but $17 for two candles just seemed a bit over the odds).
Apart from having to watch TV from a weird angle the experience was pretty good. The candle makes a few hissing and crackling noises, brings a little warmth to your ear and smells a bit like a joss stick. I cut the candle open afterwards and there seemed to be lots of wax inside – I’m guessing it was from my ear but it could have from the candle.
Despite the cleansing effects my ear was still buzzing so I went to the doctor today and he gave me some eardrops. Effective but not nearly as fun.