Tuesday, October 30, 2012


Halloween wasn't big when I was a kid but one year my mates and I thought passing up the opportunity for free lollies was just too good to miss out on. We didn't really have any outfits so I thought I might get a sheet and cut some eyes out of it. I knew mum would be pissed off if cut holes in her good white sheet and all the other sheets had prints on them - and who is going to be afraid of a ghost with little racing cars all over it? Instead I got three of my dads old white singlets and somehow artistically draped them over me along with a piece of chain I found in the garage. It looked pretty crap but I figured it was enough effort to score some lollies.

Turned out trick or treating was awesome. We just knocked on lots of random doors and 90% of people gave us stuff. It wasn't the people that gave me the best lollies that I remember though.

One guy answered the door in his stubbies and when we said "trick or treat" he just replied "nah, bullshit, that shit's American" and slammed the door in our adorable faces. I can remember thinking that was fair enough because we were just copying something we had seen in Family Ties or something.

Next was a guy who fucked with our minds. His response to the standard question was "what tricks do you do? Do you juggle?". Up until that point everyone had just given as lollies and we didn't really know what to do in this situation. We considered egging his house but we decided that would waste too much time that could be better spent getting more lollies.

The third was an old lady who was charmed to have a bunch of poorly costumed brats knocking on her door. She spent time trying to work out what each one of us was and then ages rattling around inside her kitchen trying to find a treat. In the end she gave each of us an orange and ten cents. Had she given me a freddo frog I probably wouldn't have remembered her at all.

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