Wednesday, August 20, 2014

The way to go

There aren't too many nice ways to die. Quickly and painlessly would be nice but often that is not what happens.

I propose the following:

1. You get put into a comfy pod - you can be naked or wearing a batman costume or whatever the hell you please.

2. They attach the pod to a balloon. - you can have anything written on the balloon from "god is great" to "life is beautiful" or "fuck you Ted"

3. You are released an fly up in to the sky - you can choose your favourite song to listen to. I'd probably go for "wind beneath my wings" in an ironic final twist.

4. You get pumped full of the drug of your choice to ease you on your way - if ever there is a time to try heroin surely this is it.

5. You die painlessly - the drugs and the lack of oxygen eases you out of this life.

6. You burn up on your re-entry - creating a cool streak across the sky and completely eliminating the need for a burial or cremation.

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