Superheroes

I don't understand why superheroes always have to transform from some shy geeky guy into a big musclular hunk in spandex. It's boring. I want a superhero who starts off all good looking and buff but upon leaving the phone booth has a combover and a paunch. Instead of a cape he would have a magic cardigan. He'd also have a red pen that he'd use to correct spelling and grammar wherever he travelled. The pen probably wouldn't need to be magic, just felt tip or something...