Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The problem with elections

The whole idea of having popularly elected leaders seems really appealing however there is one major problem - most people are idiots (which ensures politicians are constantly pandering to idiots rather than doing anything smart).

I think instead we need a multi-part talent contest/quiz show. There could be all sorts of things to go through before you become a leader. The quiz show bit would kick out anyone who was a bit simple and didn't understand what's going on in the world. Basically it would prevent people like George W rising to any position above hamburger flipper. I think there would then have to be an elocution section so we wouldn't have to be embarrassed by being represented by bogan drawlers such as Julia. It's important leaders look the part so obviously there would have to be some kind of visual aspect too (formal wear is fine - I don't need my leader to look good in a swim suit). This being a nation with a fine sporting tradition they would have to be able to perform basic sporting activities such as bowling a cricket ball down a pitch without it bouncing 8 times before it got to the kid at the other end - Johnny would have failed on this one. I would also like some quest at the end of it all where they battle a dragon or something because I think they need to earn the respect of the nation.

We would end up with a brave, smart, good looking, athletically talented leader and a far better Australia (plus I wouldn't have to bother going to some church and putting numbers on one of those stupidly big bits of paper which doesn't really fit in the booth and then having to fold it 12 times to fit it in the box which is already crammed full).

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