Getting Old

Today I realised I was old. You see I am the owner of a hose. It is a pretty special hose that my sister bought me. It is grey rather than the standard green which marks it as a very classy hose. Anyway my hose was violated, presumably by rumbustious youths seeking bong components. Staring at my dismembered hose I felt a tinge of anger, then a tinge of nostalgia and then my back hurt so I decided to go inside and lie down.