Tuesday, February 1, 2011


When people respond to a question with the word "whatever" they may think they are portraying a cool nonchalance but the fact is they are not being helpful with their easygoing pretence - they are being fucking lazy. In a world of unlimited options we need people who are prepared to stand up and make a decision. I want Lithuanian lamb cutlets for dinner. I want to go to the circus on Saturday. I want to watch Scooby Doo and some weird SBS movie during the ad breaks. I want the number 8 birthday cake with the racing cars on it and I don't care that I'm 33 and it's not my birthday - that's what I want!

I think I am going to open a restaurant called "I don't know, wherever". After all, how many times must people ask "where do you want to go for dinner" and receive that as the response? My place would be permanently booked out. To save time menus would only be given out to the decision maker at each table. It would be like the olden days "I'll have the Lithuanian lamb chops and she'll have the pigs trotters with a side of vegetables, thank you." If there are no decision makers at the table they'd just get brought out whatever.

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