Sunday, May 22, 2011

The deli counter

The ticket system works okay at Woolworths however I think there is a better way to go about things. If I were running the place I'd have a system where the most physically ugly get served first. Ugly people suffer so many hardships in life. In job interviews they are often passed over in favour of more attractive candidates. It's also rare for them to attract supermodels as girlfriends (unless they really rich). People also say really mean things to them like "wow, you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every stick on the way down."

My ticket system would allow ugly people to get some advantage out of being ugly. Having a face like a car crash would suddenly be the passport to instant cabanossi. My system would also give women something to look forward to as their looks fade. Perhaps they would even stop buying overpriced wrinkle cream if they knew crows feet would allow them to purchase devon that much quicker. Of course it would also make waiting a far more pleasurable experience. Every time you got overlooked it would be a small ego boost. Instead of feeling pissed off after waiting around for ten minutes you would probably feel mega hot.

No comments:

Post a Comment