Saturday, May 21, 2011


I've been trying to sell my bike online and I got someone saying they would pay $200 more for it than I was asking! Awesome huh? They then sent me an email saying they had sent to my paypal account $2850 which was $2100 for the bike and an extra $750 that I was to send via Western Union to a "shipping agent" in Turkey. I pretty quickly realised it was a scam and this was confirmed when I got bogus emails purportedly from paypal claiming I had received a payment.

I sent the scammer "Laura" the following email.

Hi Laura,

I’ve just had some great news. I was speaking to my uncle Clarence and he happens to be travelling to Turkey on business next week. He said he his happy to take the bike over with him on the plane saving you those outrageously high shipping charges.

I thought it odd that Clarence was travelling to Turkey as his job is wholesaling cheap Chinese carpets and as far as I knew Turkey has a fine tradition of carpet making. Clarence however told me “Turkey is full of good for nothing scammers who try to pass off cheap Chinese carpets as antique Turkish ones, fooling gullible people from overseas rather than putting in an honest day’s work.” He then said some very racist things regarding the personal hygiene and sexual predilections of the Turkish.

I am afraid Clarence’s attitudes may have been coloured by those of his grandfather Walter ‘Pretty Boy’ Watson who served in Gallipoli and was maimed in the exploding camel incident of Christmas 1915. Walter was enjoying the Christmas day ceasefire when a camel was sent across no man’s land from the Turks carrying what appeared to be an offering of Turkish delight. The camel was however rigged with explosives and unfortunately Walter copped a flying hoof square in the melon. From that day on his moniker became purely ironic and he never again trusted a Turk.

Anyhow, if you would just like to let me know your address I can get my uncle Clarence to drop off the bike along with the extra money you supposedly sent through for the shipping. I’ll try to make sure he doesn’t have one of his racist outbursts.



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