Wednesday, July 23, 2014

My car is boring. Your car is boring.

I think car makers have some conspiracy where they make cars so boring no one will ever feel that much love for them. By fostering such boredom they hope we will quickly desire something new.

If you look at the interior of just about every car it is grey. No one feels a special kinship with grey, unless of course, they are a miserable bastard.

Personally I would like a Hawaiian print all over the interior of my car. Seeing lots of hula girls would make me happy every time I get in. I imagine others might like to have glow in the dark stars, leopard skin or Hello Kitty everywhere.

Look at the way Indian buses are decorated. They are completely fantabulous. I'm sure the guy who owns this bus loves it in a way no one has ever loved a Toyota Corolla.

I'm lazy and don't want to put in the work this guy has obviously put in, so I keep just waiting for Exhibit (possibly not the correct rapper spelling) to knock on my door and tell me he is going to pimp my ride. There is only a fairly remote chance of this considering the show is American and  I'm not sure they even make it any more.

Even if they did make a show featuring my 2006 Mazda 3 I'd probably mess up the whole black handshake thing and then they would probably do something hideous with the car and rather than be excited I'd be asking why I have bogan flames down the side of the car and why is there a big tv screen and subwoofer taking up the space in boot where I used to fit my golf clubs? It would be a disaster.

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