Tuesday, September 2, 2014

The wild google conspiracy theory

I'm not usually one for wild conspiracy theories but google is giving me plenty of reason to be suspicious.

Normally, I'm quite old school when it comes to working out where to go, relying on the UBD and my brain. Occasionally however I will talk into my phone and have the annoying google woman guide me to my destination. When I resort to this sad measure she always takes me in the most stupid way possible. Seriously, it is like a three year old has been asked to draw a route through a maze and has ended up just drawing flowers and something which could possibly be a dog, a monkey or Aunty Ruth.

Clearly google have abandoned the whole don't be evil thing and are now in bed with the oil companies. They realise sending me the long way around the block costs me a few extra cents in fuel. Multiply that by the billions of trips which people take each year and it is a bloody bonanza for all the big fat rich people.

Their long term goal is probably to promote climate change so sea levels will rise and they can sell us google life rafts. These stupid life rafts will have some infuriating woman endlessly telling us to turn to starboard in 300 metres and we'll just go round and round until we all go insane and die.

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