Tuesday, September 2, 2014

What to do when the world loses its mojo

It is easy to slip into a state of despair when you watch the news. Islamic extremists are lopping off heads, invading Russians are shooting down passenger jets and thousands of people are dying from Ebola. On top of all this, our government is trying to fuck us over every which way possible. To me it seems like the world has really lost its mojo.

But how do you get it back again?

In the 80's when we all felt bad about starving children in Ethiopia we amassed lots of famous people to sing "We are the world". Feeling good about everything again was as simple as going down to Brashs and buying the cassingle. It was a fairly decent strategy but these days I don't think the same thing is possible because Justin Beiber will probably get involved and it will all instantly turn to crap. Also cassingles and Brashs both don't exist anymore.

Major sporting events can promote a message of international peace and harmony, whilst also being a helpful form of distraction. Unfortunately the Olympic spirit didn't really do much for Vladimir Putin, who invaded Ukraine shortly after the Sochi winter games. The next soccer world cup is also in Russia so neighbouring countries will be nervous. The one after that is in Qatar, which is basically using a lot of slave labour to construct the whole thing, so no real joy there either.

I think the best idea might to invent a character who is a cross between Jesus and Batman. Jesman would be exciting and he would have a cool outfit. He would do good things and would only punch evil people like IS head loppers and Tony Abbott. He would preach a message of peace but in a catchy rap video format that could be played more often than Gangnam Style. He could help you out if you ran out of wine at a party and would perform various other cool party tricks like walking on water or flying around like a bat.

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