Saturday, March 27, 2010

Australia it's time to be awesome

I’ve always been a tad embarrassed by the Australian flag. Having another country’s flag in the corner feels a bit like wearing some sad hand-me-down. Your brother’s name is still on it but mum has just sewn on a few stars to make it special (and then she’s gone and made another for your sister but has put red bits in the middle of the stars).

If we want to be looked upon seriously in this world we need an image change. To get our flag looking way fancier than all the other sad old flags I thought that ours should be in 3D! After all, how awesome would it be to have a boxing kangaroo that actually looks like its punching you in the face?

Then I thought the 3D thing is probably just a bit of a fad and we should look at where the future is headed. Now I’m thinking a moving hologram containing a montage of memorable Aussie moments should be used to represent our country. So what would be contained in this montage?

First and foremost I think we need something that asserts our superiority over England so I suggest Shane Warne’s famous stump dance that he performed after claiming the Ashes at Trent Bridge (either that or the Gatting ball which was just hasn’t been replayed enough for my liking).

Then I think we should have a holographic replay of Jen Hawkins losing her skirt as she walks down the runway. Not only would this demonstrate that we are a land of great natural beauty – it would also show how we can carry on in the face of adversity.

I would then like to see the red kangaroo going nuts on Marty the Monster. This is without a doubt the greatest moment in Australian television history and would also serve to show that we have fierce fauna that deserves respect.

Obviously we also need to change the anthem. So that people from across the world can sing along I’d suggest something from AC/DC. How good would that be when we won gold at the Olympics? People would be willing us on just so they could join in on our anthem while watching the hologram.

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