Monday, March 1, 2010

Gary the zebra fucker

Gary was a lion. He could kill all sorts of animals but he just wasn’t big or tough enough to win a fight with Bruce. This sucked because it meant Bruce got to fuck all the lionesses while Gary got nothing.

As the months and years passed by the sexual frustration built. He started having all these weird fantasies that just wouldn’t go away. Then one day as he was bringing down a zebra he decided that before he killed it he might do the unthinkable. Gary became a zebra fucker.

Rumours of Gary’s zebra fucking quickly circulated and Gary found himself shunned from the pride. Every day Daphne the lioness would taunt him by saying “what’s the matter Gary, is my arse not stripey enough for you?” Whenever Bruce saw him he would say “Go fuck a zebra you fucking zebra fucker.”

Gary tried to redeem himself by killing lots of animals for the pride but no one would eat them because they all suspected the offerings were filled with jiz. Gary was forced to leave the pride.

Gary left the savannah behind and headed for the city, where he soon found lots of other zebra fuckers. There he drank lots of cocktails, danced to repetitive music, fucked lots of zebras and even participated in the zebra fucker pride march. Gary felt truly happy for the first time.

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