Wednesday, March 10, 2010

stupid, good for nothing, pain in the arse, low class, cry baby bitch.

First it was Mitch Johnson’s mum and now it is Lara fricking Bingle fucking it up for our cricket team. Women of Australia I urge you to exercise some emotional stability if you are in any way involved with one of our cricketers. Your histrionics are not fair on the players, not fair on the team and not fair on your fellow Australians.

I know the Bingle situation has been analysed to death but let me analyse it some more with my top five reasons why Lara Bingle is a stupid, good for nothing, pain in the arse, low class, cry baby bitch.

1. If I had acquired a luxury Bondi Penthouse and an Aston Martin having never really done anything in my life besides a 5 second appearance on a tourism ad I think I’d act with a little more gratitude.

2. Being upset about the publication of a naked picture is a bit rich when your job mostly involves baring your bits for the cameras. It’s extra rich when you then accept $200,000 for an interview with the magazine that published the photo.

3. Pup has an exulted position as the vice captain of the Australian cricket team. He’s got an important job to do and having some whinging bitch disrupting things really won’t help with his cut shot.

4. Ever heard of a phone? Why make Pup leave the tour when you could just ring up and say “it’s over. I’ll leave the ring in the little bowl on the kitchen counter. Sorry for being such an annoying bitch this whole time…”

5. Giving the press the finger is not at all classy and not really very smart. If you are constantly in the media spotlight you should have an inkling of how to behave when cameras are pointed in your direction.

Lara, the only way you can ever redeem yourself is by hooking up with Kevin Peiterson and annoying the crap out of him during the Ashes so he gets a series of ducks.

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