Books can be good but let's face it, libraries suck arse.
I went to North Sydney Library today and when I walked in I immediately felt the stench of failure. It was coming primarily from the librarians. One had a bowl cut sprinkled with dandruff while the other had big wrist supports like she was taking part in the ten pin bowling world championships.
As I wandered around the sheleves there were old people everywhere. Bathed in a weak flourescent light, most looked like re-animated corpses. I became really scared that the septuagenarian man with the meaty cough was going to give me the plague or that his hunched over wife was going to take out her false teeth to reveal a set of fangs and go all vampire on me.
As much as they suck, the people however aren't the biggest problem. There's just way too many books. I have enough trouble at the shops deciding what types of biscuits I'm going to buy and that's from a choice of about 50.
I think they just get rid of libraries and put in big vending machines. Instead of having to choose a book you just swipe your library card and based on your previous borrowings it spits out soemthing you will like. When you return the book you will be made to rate it and those that score poorly will be instantly shredded so no other person will have to endure them. Best of all, the screen of the vending machine will feature a hot librarian (instead of a pudgy ten bin bowling one). When you borrow your first book she undoes her hair from its bun. For the next book she takes off her glasses. She then starts undoing buttons on her blouse... That'd keep me reading.