Tuesday, March 31, 2009

If I were a bum

I went to some art gallery opening thing tonight, which as with most art gallery opening things was a wee bit shit. I did however get to surreptitiously place some army men and enjoy the odd accidental arse touch. I also got the opportunity to have as much chardonnay as I wanted. This got me thinking – why don’t bums attend gallery openings?

Obviously the key concern when you are a bum is obtaining alcohol. That’s why when I have my mental breakdown I plan on going to a gallery opening every night to suck the place dry. Sure, I’ll be poorly dressed, a bit on the stinky side and quite deranged but that’s fairly acceptable for an artistic type.

Gallery people are generally soft lefties who wouldn’t kick me out anyway. If they do I plan on causing a ridiculous seen by waving my penis around and threatening to wee on the artworks. You can do that when you are a bum.

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