Tuesday, March 24, 2009


Books are dead. No one has the time to read them because they normally go for about 500 pages, not 140 characters. They needn't be that long. Authors just blag on describing some scene in minute detail, denying the reader any opportunity to use their own imagination.

I've considered writing a book but I don't have the attention span to concentrate on just one idea. I've got better things to do than churn out pages for some novel that has a 1% chance of getting published.

I don't want to waste my time and I don't want to waste yours. That's why I'm developing twitterature. If you haven't worked it out that's literature for the Twitter generation. (I'm really hoping no one else has used this before and I get cited as the originator of some buzzword.)

My theory is that one sentence can say just as much as 3000 jammed up against each other. It's far more interactive too, as readers can use the scant available information to build the rest of the story in their minds.

Here are a few examples:

With a crimson cummerbund, a half-empty hip flask and a face full of freshly popped pimples, I made my entrance.

The joy of heaving the TV out the window was soon replaced with the shocking realisation that I had parked my car below.

His last act was to goad his son about how weakly he swung the axe.

I was like a paraplegic, stuck at the top of the stairs, not even having the bladder control to piss on the flames.

The teacher told me I could be whatever I wanted to be. I decided to be bad.

He would have turned Cupid from a heart wielding archer into a subway suicide bomber.

It was clear from her dietary choices that she hated herself.

While I considered confessing, a rational explanation would have destroyed the magic of the misdeed.

I tried to read her mind but it was all in Polish.

No comments:

Post a Comment