Thursday, April 16, 2009

Stripper Clowns

Having hit my thirties I am now once again getting invites to kids’ birthday parties. Sadly the promise of fairy bread, lolly bags and pass the parcel just doesn’t excite me the way it did when I was five. To encourage the parent generation to go anywhere near a house where there will be 20 screaming kids high on red cordial I think some adult entertainment should be provided. Hence my genius idea of stripper clowns.

It would work like this. Stripper clown comes in to the backyard and does a show for the kids, blowing up a few balloons in the shape of animals, juggling, riding a unicycle and pulling a string of handkerchiefs from out of her sleave.

Then stripper clown goes indoors and does a show just for dad and his mates. Usually when you get to see a stripper it is quite predictable but with a stripper clown I think it could go in any direction. Obviously there could still be a bit of balloon work and she could still pull a string of handkerchiefs from somewhere or other. I’d expect there would be some tassels under the clown suit and maybe she could work in some good circus freak stuff. Naturally she could do her whole act along to that circus music that goes de de de deda la la la dada.

Stripper clowns would not just be good for kids’ birthdays, they would also be great for bucks nights where the buck has a clown phobia. Every bucks night should be a mix of titillation and humiliation and I think a stripper clown just makes sense.

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