Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Two Birds, One Stone

We have too many fat people and need to produce clean energy. The solution is ridiculously simple – get them riding bikes that generate power. I propose we hook every plasma screen up to an exercise bike. Over time couch potatoes will start looking svelte. People may also examine their viewing choices a lot more closely. Is Today Tonight really worth the effort?

Cycling is awesome for you. The Dutch live longer, grow taller and are healthier than people from other cultures. Scientists put this down to cycling. There are a lot of good looking Dutch people (Guus Hiddink has that weird receding hair thing going on but their ladies hockey team has always impressed). If we want to emulate the Dutch we really need to get off our fat arses and onto our bikes.

If my solution were adopted I think Australia would become a pollution free paradise filled with hotties. And it's not just during TV watching we could be generating. Anywhere you are sitting you could be cycling. It wouldn't take much to power a laptop at work and on the way there those who got a seat on the train would be made to work for the privilege. People at McDonalds could be working off that quarter pounder while they are consuming it. All park benches would be converted to power gnerating exercise bikes (this would also help get rid of bums as exercise bikes aren't very comfortable to sleep on).

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