Have you ever had one of those dreams where you are dying for a number two and you just can't find a place to do it? I hate those dreams. Last night I had one where I was coming across all these toilets that were broken down, indescribably filthy, open to public view or really good but filled with handicapped people. Eventually I found myself in a cinema which was a great relief because they always have toilets. I saw one of the cinema workers skulking around in the corner and asked him where the gents was. He said they were closed for cleaning for the next fifteen minutes and then I looked down and saw he was masturbating. He obviously couldn't wait either. I then made a mental note to write to Hoyts complaining about their lack of toilet facilities, their masturbating ushers and of course their outrageous ticket prices.
Soon after I woke up and realised an awesome toilet was just metres away. I think I might still write that letter though.