Wednesday, February 11, 2009

My concerns re oompa loompas

I know it's just a book/movie but I still feel concern for the oompa loompas. There are a number of things which trouble me.

1. The oompa loompas seem to be locked up in this highly secretive compound obviously designed so Willy Wonker can flout labour laws without fear of detection. I seriously doubt they are getting paid any more than an Indonesian making Nike sneakers.

2. Where are the lady oompa loompas? Does Willy has some secret brothel going for deviants who like short orange chicks with prominent eyebrows? Perhaps they all work in management positions within the chocolate factory but I don't think this is likely.

3. Their diet can't be great. When all they have access to is food from the wrong end of the pyramid it's no wonder they are stunted. Their teeth also look suspiciously white - I'm guessing they are denches.
4. That song of theirs is rather hypnotic. I think Willy has engaged in some crazy mind control practices designed to make the oompa loompas work ridiculously long hours without questioning their boss.
5. Are there some weird chemicals affecting the oompa loompas? I had a friend whose hair went green when she swam in a pool with too much chlorine. The orange could be their natural skin colour but I think they have just resorted to applying cheap fake tan to hide the fact they never get any sun.

1 comment:

  1. Re: 3: His name is Willy. He has male only Oompa Loompa's. He is in a chocolate factory with many brown chutes and pathways. You do the maths.