Monday, February 2, 2009

Pretty Birds

I had a rainbow lorikeet tap on my window in search of food. I went and got it some breadcrumbs because it looked cool and it wasn’t a pigeon. When re-examining my actions I felt conflicted. Why do we love some birds and hate others?

If you asked most people they would gladly replace all the pigeons and seagulls with penguins. After all penguins look cool and they make movies about them with Morgan Freeman doing voiceovers where he sounds all wise and grandfartherly. But if you think about it more deeply it would be completely crap.

Just imagine driving along early in the morning and there are penguins on the road. Instead of flying out of the way at the last minute they just waddle pathetically slowly and then you run over them which sucks because they aren’t small – they are like a metre high and they put big dents in your car.

The move from seagulls to penguins would also stuff up cricket. Generally seagulls are smart enough to scatter when the ball comes their way and even if they do get hit the ball normally goes to the boundary anyway. Penguin/ball collisions would likely change the game completely. Serious injuries would also ensue as people trip over them in the outfield.

Going to the beach would also suck, with the whole place covered by penguins standing on their nests. If you did find a gap on the sand to put your towel on the bastards would probably peck at your eyes with those big pointy looking beaks.

So I guess the moral of the story is just because a bird is pretty doesn’t necessarily mean it’s good.

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